There's an 'us' after all
by primapula
Summary: hey guys, hope you like this fic of mine. just another story to pass up the time.  "That's not possible" "an 'us' might be possible after all" XD ENJOY!


**That's Impossible**

How would you know when to stop loving a person? Or rather, how would you stop yourself from loving someone you know you can never have? Such questions have forever been in my mind from the day I realized what I felt about **him**_._ I _knew_ I can never have him. How can I? I'm just a loyal attendant, a mere servant in this family. Why would I ever think that there can ever be an '_us'_? There can **never ever** be an 'us'.

I love him so much. So much that it hurts just to see him smile at her and not at me. The way he looks at her, his eyes would shine like a brand new diamond ring. When she laughs, his face would light up like the sun during dawn. When he talks, he speaks as if this will be there last conversation but most of all, what hurts me the most, is when they hold hands and look at each other with so much tenderness that it shreds my heart to pieces and I can barely hold my breath and breathe. It hurts so much.

Of course there were times when he looks at me, or more specifically, times when he spares me a glance. I could feel my body heat up totally ironic of what I am supposed to be yet I don't care. All I care about is how when he looks at me I can feel shivers running up and down my spine and I can never tear my gaze away from his eyes, oh those eyes, those bloody red eyes that can look through anything, eyes that can pierce through your soul, eyes that can never figure out what I feel. I love feeling his attention on me but it never lasts. So I cherish every second I have with him and when the time comes, I would gladly give my heart, body and soul to him, to protect him, to love him.

So here I am now, in a church where they are to be married, where everything ends for me, the ending point of the love I have for him, and it all ends today. And as I watch her walk down the aisle, I can feel my heart jump from my body. Wherein every step she takes nearer to the aisle my body weakens. 'I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this, **I can't do this!**' I feel myself getting lightheaded, I see her looking at me, worry etched on her face. 'No! Don't look at me!' My legs starts to wobble and I couldn't hold on anymore, I'm going to fall and I see her beautiful, make-up face shocked. I wonder why.

And then out of the blue, the ground that I've been anticipating to feel wasn't there, instead a pair of strong arms was wrapped around me preventing my fall. I knew these arms anywhere even in my sleep. These are the arms that I've always dreamed to be embraced by. These are **his **arms. So warm, so strong, so secure. But why? How?

"Tsurara…are you alright?" I heard him ask but I couldn't answer. My eyes began to close against my will. I don't know why my body is reacting like this, like a weakling. But I couldn't continue my thoughts. Everything went black.

"Rikuo! What are you doing?" someone yelled. His voice seems familiar.

"Hey! Kid! Where ya goin?" another yelled. What's going on?

"Rikuo! Why?" that was Ienega san's voice. I don't understand. What's going on?

"Are you sure about this?" someone said but I couldn't bring myself to care anymore, my mind and body was so much exhausted with the wedding preparations and depression that I wasn't able to take care of myself. How long did I not eat? I think it was almost 5 days. Oh well, who cares, they're getting married anyways. I'm going to enjoy this solace that Kami at least gave me. This darkness where I can just forget about everything, yes, this is my personal getaway from everything. I don't know how long I was in that darkness but I thought I heard someone calling my name.

"Tsurara! Wake up!" a voice in the distance yelled.

"Hey! Wake up! If you don't wake up I'm not letting you go to your district for a year!" the voice continued to yell. 'My district? I love my district, who the hell is that person yelling at me, how dare he forbid me from going to **my** district?'

"You're not allowed to do anything if you don't wake up!" he yelled. That is it! I can't take it anymore! Who the hell does this guy think he is! I'm going to freeze this guy to his core! As I open my eyes and was about to yell at him, I stopped mid sentence. There he was, my master, Rikuo. He was sitting beside me looking tired and still wearing his wedding attire. Wedding? The wedding!

"Master! Wha-what are you doing here? How was the weedding? Is it over? Where's Ienega san? Oh no! I mean, Nura san? Gomen!" I yelled and pleaded and begged but the man in front of me was just sitting there, staring at me. I looked at myself and saw that there were herbs and medicines around me. What happened to me?

"Tsurara" I heard him say, I looked at him and suddenly he embraced me. What? What is happening? What did truly happen that something like this was happening to me? Of course I'm happy that my master's with me like this but this isn't right.

"Master? What wrong? What happened?" I tried to ask again causing him to tighten his embrace on me.

"You fainted. You worried all of us. You scared us. When we found out what was wrong with you we were shocked, you almost died" Rikuo said. I was surprised was an understatement. I almost died? Woah.

"Zen said it was over exhaustion, fatigue, depression, and so much more. I was so scared. I thought I was gonna lose you" said Rikuo. Master was scared? I don't know what to say.

"I didn't marry Kana. The wedding's over. Nothing happened" he continued. Why is he telling me all of this? He didn't marry Ienega san. The wedding didn't continue. So what? What happens now?

"Master-" I was about to ask him but he stopped me with what he said next.

"It's you. Tsurara, it has always been you. You're the one I love"

I couldn't move, think, nor breathe. What is he saying all of a sudden? He loves me? This isn't happening. Am I in a dream? Am I dreaming? My master…Rikuo said he loves me. That's not possible.

"That's not possible…" I tried to think of something to say but instead that came out, how lame! That's so stupid even for me!

"What? Of course it is! I love you Tsurara! Get it in that thick head of yours! Alright? I've been having a hard time thinking of what to say to you when you wake up and instead you say 'that's not possible' how infuriating! Do you know how hard it was for me to say that? And then you almost died that caused everyone to have a heart attack especially me!" ranted Rikuo.

What is he ranting about? My master loves me? A master loving a servant. That's so unrealistic. And yet, my heart's beating like there's no tomorrow. He loves me. Me . Me. Me. And Me! How can I say no? So I hugged him back as he was still ranting about things I couldn't care to comprehend.

"I love you too Master! Much, much more than you can ever know!" I yelled to him while in our embrace. I can't think of anything right now other than me and master being in love together. Forget Ienega san, forget the clan, forget master and servant for a while and instead focus on us first. It might be possible, 'us' is possible after all.

"I love you too Tsurara. I'm sorry I took so long, I'll never let anything come between us again, I promise."

**-so guys, how was it? Just a random idea to pass time. And about my other stories, don't worry cause I'll continue them over summer break since I can't focus on them right now with all the things I have in my plate at the moment. I'm so sorry, but I promise you, I will continue them, just bear with me for a while. And I hope you like this fic! And again, RikuoxTsurara forever!**

**-princess**


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